From the Proxmox documentation:
As a general rule of thumb, allocate at least 2 GiB Base + 1 GiB/TiB-Storage. For example, if you have a pool with 8 TiB of available storage space then you should use 10 GiB of memory for the ARC.
I changed the arc size on all my machines to 4GB and it runs a bit better. I am getting much better performance. I though I had changed it but I didn't regenerate initramfs so it didn't apply. I am still having issues with VM transfers locking up the cluster but that might be fixable by tweaking some settings.
16GB might be overkill or underkill depending on what you are doing.