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Selfhosted
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That sucks. I don't even know what to think anymore. It is crazy that anyone with our email address essentially has access to when they use giant corporate services like google of microsoft, but every independent server is a bad actor until proven reputable.
I can't be asking everyone I want to email to put me on a whitelist. They'll just tell me to lose their address.
If you think about it from a security perspective, it makes sense. If a random person you don't know sends you an email, the chances are non-zero that it contains something malicious. The provider has an obligation to filter emails that could be dangerous. They know that if a large email service sends an email, they have that same obligation and are therefore doing some filtering on their side to prevent malicious content. Trust is pretty important.
This is true. Email is so cheap it is practically free, which is why spam and scams became so successful.