Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EuropeinAmerica on 2023-08-01 05:55:40.

I 40M have been a father figure for my niece Lola 17M since she was 8. Besides me, Lola has been raised by a single mother of 2 (Lola and her little brother 5M who’s autistic). Lola helps a lot with raising her little brother and I help with all the finances specifically for Lola since she’s my brother’s daughter. Lola has brought to our attention that she plans on going out of state for college. When we asked for her reasonings, she said she feels like she is nowhere near independent and only lazy cause she lives with her mom and thinks that if she moves out to a place where her mom can’t do everything for her and “put her in a position where she can’t be lazy” then she’ll actually stop being lay. In my opinion, I think it’s because she wants to fool around and start participating in insane and inappropriate behaviors without getting in trouble. I told her if she does leave, i’m not paying for her tuition (her top college choice was like 80K so there’s no way i’m paying for that) and that resulted into a screaming match. She called her dad and he started yelling at me calling me a horrible uncle. AITA?