new users should always understand what they’re signing up for.

I agree that defederation is a feature, but this in specific is a contradiction against what is the normal "it doesn't matter what instance you sign up for" that gets said whenever discussion about onboarding new users for Lemmy, Mastodon, etc comes up.

I run my own instances for both (partly to avoid this, and also because I quite enjoy self-hosting) but if I didn't and wanted to get my friends onto the Fediverse, this would be something I'd have to take into consideration for them as I couldn't expect them to possibly understand it.

In reality, its more like "It doesn't matter what instance you sign up for... unless there is someone/a community you want to follow on instance X which is defederated by instance Y and the only way around it is to either create multiple accounts (which most non-tech oriented people aren't going to want to do) or pick a different instance as your main instance and manually move everything over since there are no migration tools for the most part".

In my opinion this is probably the number one reason why the Fediverse will never be mainstream, for better or for worse (though I'd be incredibly happy to be wrong about this).

Again, I think defederation is a tool that needs to be present on the Fediverse for pretty obvious reasons but I do think that it is also a double edged sword.

Things change over time.

For example - I want to see the broadest possible choice of content in my feed. I want to be able to interact with anywhere that's not outright hateful and/or malicious. So when I was choosing an instance, finding a permissive (but not too permissive!) admin was important to me.

But when Threads started making waves and the fedipact started becoming a thing that people were discussing, things changed out of left field.

I still wanted to federate with Threads. I think fears of EEE are overblown; Facebook has to comply with the Digital Markets Act and guarantee third-party interoperability. EEE on the fediverse runs counter to EU law. Additionally, most of my friends are folks who don't "get" the fediverse; I tried coaxing my fiance onto Mastodon and she lasted 1 day before going back to birdsite. She uses Threads actively now, and I'd love to be able to see her posts and interact with her without needing to sign up for Threads myself.

I had hoped that the semi-permissive admins I've found would tolerate it, but a lot of them decided to draw the line and join the fedipact (including my Mastodon admin).

Which now sucks - it feels like a bunch of bullies are trying to use intimidation to tell me where I can and can't post. By threatening to defederate everywhere that's not in the fedipact, there's this feeling where now I can't join a server that curates the way I want because if I do, I'll be cut off from the rest of the fediverse. If I run my own server, there's a good chance these other instances will use bots to catch that my server federates with Threads and pre-emptively defederate me.

Defederation is used as a weapon and a way to bully other instances, which I really don't like. I understand the need for defederation as a tool but it sucks seeing how easily it's abused, and how you really can't trust that admins of a server you join won't be intimidated into compliance by these fedipact bullies.

So now, if I want to like my fiance's posts... I basically have to join Threads and help Zuck directly, or have an account elsewhere that basically can only federate with Threads. Thanks, fedipact.