Yup. I completely agree. I understand why beehaw defederated from lemmy because lemmy kinda seems... unhinged, in comparison to beehaw's carefully crafted community.
Whereas kbin I think you're right, tend to be happy to civilly hear each other out. whereas I feel like beehaw isn't really interested in that. Though I think of kbin users respect beehaw's way of doing things while we're in their space, they might not have issues with us.
granted, the response I got was "we don't even think about you" so maybe kbin is too small to really be noticeable to them lol.