Where do you want to sync the phones to? I assume you have a server where you want to keep these, otherwise my_folder is just your phone's local storage.
With that in mind what you described is a very straightforward synching configuration. You install it on the server, give it access to the three folders, install it on both phones, and configure it to sync:
- Phone1 local_folder to Server my_folder
- Phone1 shared_folder to Server shared_rolder
- Phone2 local_folder to Server wife_folder
- Phone2 shared_folder to Server shared_rolder
Don't understand why you think you need users for that.