All My Brothers Are Beautiful by Joe Wallace

I am the youngest one of them all / Growing the fastest but still too small / All my brothers are straight and tall / Even when they are stooped with toil / All my brothers are beautiful /

Long ago they scattered from home / Some to settle and some to roam / What does it matter field or foam? / All my brothers are neighbours now / All my brothers are beautiful /

They were robbed wherever they went / Stand and deliver, profit and rent, / Eating the ashes of discontent / Still for all their bitterness / All my brothers are beautiful /

Caught in the blind man's bluff of war / They died and they didn't know what for / For God and Country the gangsters swore / None of my brothers are blindfolded now / All my brothers are beautiful /

One has the beauty of night and stars / One has the beauty of golden bars / Varying skins but the very same scars / White or red whatever the shade / All my brothers are beautiful /

I am the rainbow's radiant prism / I am its beauty and symbolism / I am the builder of socialism. / The whole world blossoms as I grow tall / Blooms for my beautiful brothers and all.

We are siblings in this struggle and I love my siblings so of course I would need you here.

So I don't know your situation but I will say as someone who was 20 all of 5 years ago and who now works with 19-21yr olds, I don't think your feelings are necessarily unique (as unfortunate as that might sound). This is often a time of transition for those of us who are privileged enough to have compulsory secondary education, either going into college, uni or work, which can be very daunting and nerve wracking.

Youth (people aged up to 30yrs) face a number of distinct struggles that are foisted upon them when they have hormonal imbalances, limited experience and lower brain development. Feeling alienated from others and distressed is not a unique response.

This is part of the reason why Communist Parties have Young Communist Leagues, which are (ideally) responsive to needs of their younger membership. I would consider joining one of those if you can/haven't already. You might find that joining a YCL or a club with a similar purpose might help you "find your tribe". This should not be seen as the limit of your social escapades and making and maintaining friendships with non-communist friends is important. Some of my oldest friends are anti-communist but the time I spend with them rejuvenates me because we do things and talk about things enjoy and they genuinely care for me.

Similarly important to your social wellbeing (vis-a-vis your mental health) is ensuring you are eating, exercising and sleeping properly. Considering that dialectical materialism argues that a material base determines an ideological superstructure, it is indeed communist to maintain your physical well being (as evidenced by the emphasis placed on this in the Soviet Union).

Make sure that as you are going throughout your day that you are taking note of how certain interactions and events make you feel and give yourself some time and an outlet in an attempt to release the stress that builds up. This can be journaling, poetry, meditation, talking to someone you trust, going to the gym, playing a sport, going for a walk, listening to calming music, volunteering, watching a funny video (fun with friends and family), playing a board/video game (fun with friends and family). A combination of any or all of these is recommended so long as they wok for you.

Some distressing events can still be affecting you even if they happened a long time ago, especially if you are idle (one of the curses of unemployment). I went through something distressing this summer and it still bothers me although this has lessened since I started to fill my schedule up with school, work and Party work.

Krupskaya, writing in 1932, proposed that a YCL must wage a struggle for knowledge, necessitating serious knowledge for socialism, the ability to apply this knowledge, an understanding of Marxism-Leninism and a capacity to work with the methods and in the spirit of Marxism-Leninism. This is a never ending process, as a comrade much more experienced than myself told me: one does not join a Communist Party a communist but rather to become a communist, a process that never truly ends. Thus your task at this moment, as I see it, is to learn more about the world while participating, as you can, in proletarian and youth institutions.

Be kind to yourself; even if it doesn't seem that way, you are needed by me, by the others here, by your friends and family, and ultimately by the international working class.

The only video I've seen that discusses male beauty standards in China in any capacity was pretty contradictory and I thought the creator's conclusions betrayed (to a certain extent) the evidence that they presented. Video ->https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMLURXHfFtw

That being said, this video, your comments in this thread, and the relative lack of information on prolewiki about (specifically) masculinity in China leads me to ask about where I could go to learn more about Chinese masculinity.

Almost done "The Fascist Offensive and the Tasks of the Communist International in the Struggle of the Working Class Against Fascism" and started "Wage Labour and Capital"

I really like the Dimitrov's discussion on the different frameworks fascists adopt in order to establish the terrorist dictatorship of the most reactionary sections of finance capital. Really coalesced some things for me.

His discussion on the United Front and the Youth was really cool as well. I've been thinking about how to get more involved in my community and how to get more young people mobilized and engaged with politics so his writing is interesting. On Education by N.K. Krupskaya is also a collection of speeches/writings I visit from time to time for the same purpose.

Wage Labour and Capital helps me fall asleep :/

I totally get this but imagine how stupid and intellectually incurious you'd be. One of the most exciting things in life is learning new things and challenging your preconceived ideas. Reactionaries have no love for life's most stimulating intellectual pursuit.

Red Star over the 3rd World by Vijay Prashad? Might or might not be what your looking for but I think its worth a read. Don't know if you can get it for free though.