this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
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Men's Liberation

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This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.

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“My Brother Is So Far Gone”: How Male Influencers Turned The Men In These People’s Lives Toxic (www.buzzfeednews.com)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the identity of men is unstable nowdays.

A lot of people don't know what is to be a man today, so they go back to the old ways when it's was simple for then and bad for woman.

The nuances and uncertainty of modern life is too much for some people usually need success model's to follow to feel safe.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's not the identity of males that is the problem ... it's the loss of power, privilege and status and the idea that males, especially white males are supposed to be equals to every other human on the planet.

The fact that this is changing is what is very upsetting to males ... especially white males.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Most humans wants to be privileged and fulfilled.

The question is how to get there.

The male privilege can vary drastically.Let's say you're talking about a poor white man or a wealthy one. Wealthy white man still has patriarchal families and tradicional values.

The poor and middle class man are the most affected, they don't know how to progress to get the milestones of life, so they search for answers on how to behave, how to get a job, how to create a family, how to be respected.

So they build a identity of a man to be portrayed in society, this can lead to integration of toxic masculinity traits, it will also get worse with isolation, but a stable and reasonable person can help listening and speaking about the challenges.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I do think there is an attack on masculinity that is going unaddressed and this is a huge issue that if that was solved issues like this wouldn't arrise.

If you ever speak about it, it just goes the old "you're a man you have life on easy don't you know how hard it is to be X" or "that's not the way the world is any more you are stuck in the 40's" or " you need to be thinking about X and how men make them feel and you need to do better even though you haven't done anything wrong you're responsible."

Boys and men want some shithousary, they want some aggression and they want to be tough. But they don't get the support in a lot of ways I did even a few years ago.

Guys don't want to be weak and breakdown and cry and talk about their feelings, they want to be part of a group that supports each other and helps each other grow and be tougher. But when guys are wrestling and calling each other cunts or whatever that isn't healthy, they should be asking each other about their emotions and what not. I'm just convinced men aren't built like that and building the world away from the old systems isn't good for men.

They need a group where they can go and relax and shithouse. Things like scouts, full contract sport, boys groups, mens groups in the pub. That does more for my mental health and most guys mental health than any of the stuff being pushed now. What we need to push is society is community and I think men need that more than they need anything else, just look at loneliness levels. Secondly it's probably purpose, being seen as tough and a provider.

That's what men crave and there is such a severe lack of that community that it is taken from twats like Tate because there is no other option.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

If you ever speak about it, it just goes the old “you’re a man you have life on easy don’t you know how hard it is to be X” or “that’s not the way the world is any more you are stuck in the 40’s” or " you need to be thinking about X and how men make them feel and you need to do better even though you haven’t done anything wrong you’re responsible."

Stop talking with the voices in your head. It helps a lot.

I’m just convinced men aren’t built like that

I'm a man and I'm build like that. How about not making generalizations about like half the population of earth. Some men want do MMA, some do want talk about feelings and some might even want to do both. There is no one size fit them all approach to masculinity. And it was never about, making traditional manly man any less manly. It is about realizing that we are all different and no-one is less human or men because we don't fit in some box.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's not just men. My mother was pushed down the FaceTube YouBook weaponized disinformation rabbit hole.

It's outrage porn... They LOVE being angry at 'the system' or 'corporations' or 'the WHO' etc. etc.

Yes, there's a lot of stupid corrupt shit going on, but posting on social media is the most impotent thing a person could do to make a difference. (Yes, I appreciate the irony.)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Classic comic that describes this by 'Poorly Drawn Lines'

https://poorlydrawnlines.com/comic/mad/

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yup, we had a disagreement about the electrical grid, and she insisted that green power would result in province-wide blackouts every night or whenever the wind stopped blowing. I sent her the power generation mix from the Electricity System Operator, showing that renewables accounted for a single-digit percentage point of the generating capacity of the province... Nope, "Why can't you just respect what I believe?" "Because you're full of shit?" click

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Frankly, I don’t trust anyone who’s not angry at corporations, but otherwise I tale your point.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We need to find a way against algorithms that benefit radicalization.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The only winning move is not to play. Don't use platforms that do this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That does not solve anything, since people are drawn to platforms with easy accessible content they enjoy. People will use those platforms. The problem is that algorithms will recommend you radicalizing content. And it's an extremely complex task to solve. I would have no idea where to beginn, except better education - but that's something that will take a generation to work out.