The fun part is I really did get this goofy little thing off amazon, and it wasn't even the smallest size they had listed!

See if you can spot the difference here:

vs:

Fucking amazon... but at least it sure works for you guys, this is the absolutely the c u t e s t microbikini I own now! LMFAO though, not exactly what I was trying for.

Agreed, far too much coverage!

I don't think the bikini is the problem, it could be far smaller. The problem is that you're not supposed to wear stripper boots on the beach.

Hahaha! Admittedly, raises the temperature in the room though 🔥