another was annoyed that they had to plug in their phone to activate CarPlay
I suspect that isn't a current restriction, or it may depend on the car model. I have a car from 2018 where I have to plug in my phone for Android Auto work. That car is in the shop right now and I have a new 2023 loaner, and the loaner's Android Auto integration connects directly to my phone via Bluetooth as soon as I start the car. Having experienced both now, I know for sure that wireless Android Auto is gonna be on the list of things I want in my next car.