In England, Smokey the Bugbear is not the forest-fire-prevention representative. They have Smackie the Froghemoth. It's a lot like a bugbear, but it's a froghemoth. And that's a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bugbears can be mean, but froghemoths are always cool. Never has there been a froghemoth hopping toward me and I thought, "Man, I better play dead!"

The last part's a bit of a stretch but what am I gonna do, come up with something funny on my own instead of copy-pasting and changing two words