Nothing is a life-long dream of mine.

Do what you like? It takes a while. I tried 2 whole years of daily drawing for at least an hour. It wasnt a lifelong passion or anything, i just thought it would be cool to be able to sketch people. At 2 years I decided that I still suck and won't get better and quit. Now I'm a mediocre bike racer. I still suck, but I enjoy it a bit more and it keeps me fit. Im late 30s btw

Dad always said if you are bored you are being a boring person. It changed my mindset to being a lifelong learner. Go pick up a new tool, software or physical it doesnt really matter. Could be a new language, learn to interface with a machine or person... Give yourself a small project to learn it, try to use as much of it as you can as a challange. Eventually you'll learn to make your own tools. Even if they arent better, they have value. If you cant find enjoyment and satisfaction in learning try creating. I dont really like creating as much as debugging or modding stuff - aka learning something. I just rediscovered aoe2 and am not only learning the classes im relearning some history trying to follow up on the stories in the game. Its inspiring my reading materials.

Life is about experience, not expertise imo. But the latter helps you feel confident or mentor, also satisfying activities.

Everything worth doing is hard at first. You just gotta embrace the suck, then you will begin to see improvement.

You're not "supposed" to do anything. Do what you like. Or don't. I'm not your existential crisis/mother.