I know the feeling... believe me. I tried to not use meds... I never want to take an prescriptions. Somehow I saw it as being weak or feeling reliant on something made me... less of a person? I don't know how to describe it. I even started using marijuana as a more "natural" alternative for awhile. Ultimately, through introspection I felt that not seeking the meds route was doing myself a disservice for a since of control that wasn't necessary. I totally empathize with you and get it. Best of luck to you.