I would like the stroganoff treatment

That's already old and stale. Your attempt to hitch a ride on it explains why you're so defensive about the boomer demographic in general. I doubt you're that old, but boomer is by and large a state of mind and you seem to fit that state of mind.

for personal tragedies

Except decades of suffering that boomers as a demographic inflicted on those younger (and in the past, on those older) than themselves. That's fine and good because the smol bean boomers are special and better than those that came before them and after them and deserve all of the sympathy, including for things they inflicted on everyone, including themselves.

that occur in your life

Fuck all the way off with your smarmy concern trolling.

Just inform me when something big happens.

You live in a bubble world of smug condescension, so chances are you won't notice anything anyway.