I already had a perfect boyfriend long ago. VENT TIME TWO, BABY!

He was incredible. He was insanely smart, super mature, very calm, artistic, and just the kind of guy who'd make everyone in a room smile the minute you see him. God, he was something else.

We met in a cafe and i basically harassed him into falling in love with me and we dated even when his friends said I sucked. This was when I was more of a reactionary, yes I used to be very right wing and even a Trump supporter, but he saw the side of me I never even saw in myself.

We dated, went to plays, and did other things too. But one day he got a fucking brain tumor. I saw him fall apart. He got slower and his mind rotted. Simple things became impossible like driving as bright lights gave him seizures. I stayed with him. How could I not?

He kept falling apart and I saw it, but are diamonds not beautiful even when they crack and break? I still remember the last date we went on as we went mini golfing and he barely could do anything. I didn't care, I was just happy he was there. I remember kissing him as he went to bed and found out the next day from his parents he never woke up. He never would.

I sometimes feel like God gave me my perfect match just to take it away from me. I guess I'm glad I met him, but I needed so much more of him. I still need him to this day. I sometimes feel his spirit guiding me as, yeah I was a fucking asshole back then but he showed me I can be more than just some shitty fucking guy in the Army who voted for Trump. I can be anything.

But he should still be here too to see what I am now. How much better I am now and how much I changed. Even if he changed and left me, at least he'd be here.

Fuck man, fuck cancer.