Whenever possible, the kid's decision should be respected. It is their life that is being decided. A birth parent who sees their child being happy in a new home can choose to "let them go" so to speak. The kid may choose to include them in their life later on. When abuse is involved, that's when the kid can't make the right choice for themselves, and we need the social worker's help. The episode captures a real dilemma that social workers face when navigating these issues that involve vastly differing cultures.