GiveOver comments on Simon Pegg on the Cornell Rapists

[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 15 points 3 days ago (8 children)

This seems like an odd thing to say. Like it doesn't matter if it's true or not, just which "team" is saying it.

I'm personally at 0% risk of slipping into the manosphere, but can you see how this sort of talk would push somebody more vulnerable into it? All I've said is that men are treated differently because they're suspected of being rapists and according to this thread I'm a) a conservative (nope) and b) part of the problem (i.e. I'm a rapist?). I'd never usually say anything because I know this is the way discussions always go, but I guess I was feeling ambitious today.

I just think it's fair to be upset about being treated differently because of the way you were born. You can't immediately start pigeonholing people if they show the slightest annoyance at being treated like a rapist.

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[–] nummy@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Framed this as a question because YMMV. I've seen this take in manosphere-adjacent spaces as a response to whatever allegations are in the news. "Oh, now all men are rapists, huh?" or something like that. Without addressing the allegation itself, of course. It's like they are creating this monster that just loves ruining men's lives by wrongly accusing them of rape. It happens, yeah, but it's not the point, the point is to radicalize men into thinking that women are not equal to men.

I've met people (usually having traumatic experiences) who really think that "all men" are whatever. But this is an outlier in my book. In social media this point can be exaggerated (plus, "controversial opinion = engagement" plague) so I guess it can influence some people's opinions and views. But I still think the majority of people are not as radical.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works [S] -2 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Whining about being part of the same group that most rapists belong to when the overarching conversation is about how we prevent horrific crimes like gang rape is a choice a lot of men are making in here.

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[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 2 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I don't think that's fair to say at all. The image you posted is specifically about #notallmen.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works [S] 0 points 3 days ago (4 children)

It also says of course it's not all men, that's not the point. The point is, it's a lot of men....

You tell me. What group of people has the most rapists?

It's not all men. But to ignore that most rapists are men is to be willfully ignorant and changing the conversation from 'how do we prevent' to 'soothe the men who aren't rapists because they feel bad that other men are rapists'.

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[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 3 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Nothing you said is wrong there, I'm just saying it sucks on our end too. It sucks that women would rather walk past a bear than me, purely because of the way I was born. Sucks that if I mention being upset about it I get told that "I'm the reason she picked the bear". So much vitriol. I can handle it but I know lots of men can't and end up in Andrew Tate's lap. This entire thread is a perfect example. It's not helping.

And I know you're probably going to reply and say that women have it worse because they get raped, and you're right, but it doesn't make me feel any better the next time a woman gives me a wide berth in the park for no other reason than my gender.

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[–] Tiresia@slrpnk.net 1 point 3 days ago

I can handle it but I know lots of men can’t and end up in Andrew Tate’s lap. This entire thread is a perfect example. It’s not helping.

So you're saying it's your "ability to handle it" that is preventing you from falling into Andrew Tate's lap. That you're a bad year of not being able to handle it away from becoming manosphere material yourself.

Why is it that you feel men need to be treated with silk gloves or be unable to help themselves from becoming fascist while women can be treated like shit 23/6 without doing the same? Why is your answer to that to treat men's violence as a given and ask women to please calm down to avoid upsetting him? Why do you back your sadness at being judged for your gender with a promise of violence if that continues?

I understand being upset that people would pick the bear; I myself would pick the man. But, based solely on this conversation, I would pick a bear over you.

Yes, patriarchy sucks for men. Take it up with the patriarchy, not its victims. We're just out here trying to minimize our chances of getting raped.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works [S] -2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 child)

I’m just saying it sucks on our end too

You know what sucks? Being held down and forcibly raped against one's will. And then your rapist not seeing any time in court or jail and allowed to attend the same university where you are trying to get your own education without being fucking traumatized. And yeah this is a predictable response because yeah, I get it sucks when someone is wary of you, but you can't empathize with that at all? That being raped is so much worse than someone giving you space on the sidewalk because they don't know you?

I can handle it but I know lots of men can’t and end up in Andrew Tate’s lap.

There's a lot of this in this thread - blaming women for being scared of being raped for pushing men into being even more misogynistic and hateful towards women.

When are men going to accept some fucking responsibility here?

And I know you’re probably going to reply and say that women have it worse because they get raped, and you’re right, but it doesn’t make me feel any better the next time a woman gives me a wide berth in the park for no other reason than my gender.

If you aren't a rapist, then why are you so offended when women who don't know you give you a wide berth? They aren't doing it to attack you. They're doing it to protect themselves.

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[–] Spawn7586@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

Personally I would not be offended, but I would probably think I smell, start trying to sniff my armpits without being seen, then blush really hard when I think someone saw me and start sweating profusely. After that I would probably keep my arms glued to my side making me sweat more. And then leave to fucking change

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