Title, I know that all those feelings have no real ground, I was a child when it happened, but its just making me insane. I've been raped penilly, and undergone pretty bad physical violence before, but nonenof them hurt mentally as much as this.

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[–] 9 points 1 day ago

I’m with the other commenters. You can regain those feelings of security and dignity. Therapy can help. Sometimes it takes time to find the right therapist, so pay attention to how you feel with the person. Feeling a better connection will mean more effective work often. Don’t hesitate to be choosy.

You know the thoughts and feelings are not rational it seems, so it just remains to find out why/how you are hooked onto them.

If you live in the US you might be able to use the website www.psychologytoday.com to find a therapist. There are probably similar sites in other countries. If payment is a barrier, look for a therapist who says they have a ‘sliding scale’, ask them how it works.

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