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Grandpa still got it (thelemmy.club)
submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by [M] to c/Revenge@sopuli.xyz
191 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

LOCKED: people are getting too heated over a silly meme

go to s/parenting if you want to have a serious conversation about parenting

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[+] -42 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You don’t own anything as a kid. Pay your own phone bill and you can call it yours

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  • [–] 13 points 3 days ago

    When a parent gives their child trust, privacy, help, or even a phone, it is an expression of their love, and for it to be healthy it can't be transactional.

    A child's clothes are THEIR clothes. A parent guides, helps, and is in charge of it, but it BELONGS to the child. Same goes for ALL their posessions.

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  • [–] 16 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    Any excuses for the other 3 things in that list?

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  • [+] -9 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    Three things? He told her to do the dishes then took her phone when she didn’t. That’s exactly one thing.

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  • [–] 14 points 3 days ago* (1 child)

    I listed 4 things. "I will steal your stuff, violate your trust, manipulate you, and lie to you". You only addressed "steal your stuff". I'm waiting to see how you to excuse the other 3.

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  • [+] -10 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    I mean, if that’s how you view it, that’s. you problem. You having the privilege of a phone as a condition of doing your chores isn’t “taking your stuff” or “violating your trust”.

    The chores are a condition of the privilege. You not keeping up your end is violating the agreement. Not the other way around.

    You sound spoiled.

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  • [–] 0 points 3 days ago* (1 child)

    So you got nothing other than gaslighting?

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  • [+] -9 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    That’s not fucking gaslighting lmao. Maybe learn to google before you start using words you learned online

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  • [–] 4 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    "Nothing was stolen from you.
    Your trust wasn't violated.
    No one lied to you".

    Textbook gaslighting.

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  • [+] -6 points 3 days ago (4 children)

    No, that’s just fucking facts.

    You don’t own the shit as a kid. It isn’t yours, therefore cannot be stolen. It’s a privilege you get based on you meeting certain conditions.

    If you violated the agreement of “you can have a phone if you keep up your chores”, you cannot have your trust violated when you are the one that didn’t do the chores and lost the phone. You are the one that broke the trust.

    And the agreement is you get a privilege if you keep up your end of the deal. If you break it and suffer the consequences you were told from the start, there is no lie. If anything, the parent is showing that they were being honest and not lying to you, because they’re doing exactly what they said they would.

    The gaslighting is you coming around and trying to change the whole thing to abuse when you don’t hold up your end of the deal. “You’re abusing me for keeping me true to the agreement I made” is bullshit.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    Please tell me you're not a parent and never will be.

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  • [–] -2 points 2 days ago

    Why? My kids are great. They’re scoring well above their peers and a few grades above their grade level, they don’t act like little shitheads to other parents like their friends whose parent do this soft parenting bullshit, and they’re not disrespectful assholes like their friends that come to my house.

    I fuckin love my kids. I rarely have to be that strict, but they know when I take their shit, they really fucked up. And they fix it. In return, I spoil the hell out of them. The sky is the limit for privileges. If they behave, virtually anything is on the table. Video games, computers, dirt bikes, concerts, trips, whatever. If they fuck up, they know their shit is gone. But they also know that the line of fucking up and losing their most important shit is pretty far out there. They’re assholes at home. And guess why? Because they know they’re loved and safe.

    But outside of home, they’re amazing kids. Literally every other parent talks about how great my kids are, how respectful they are, how responsible they are, and how they act better than their kids do. And they are. I’m proud as fuck of my kids and tell them every day. I just also have high standards for them, because I’m not going to raise some pansy ass losers that make excuses for everything.

    Their friends that come over are fucking horrible. Make a mess and tell my wife to her face “you clean it, it’s your house”. Bully other kids and laugh it off. Don’t know how to do anything for themselves and yell at their parents, or my wife when they come over, to help them.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    You don’t own the shit as a kid.

    If it was a gift, you do.

    If you violated the agreement of “you can have a phone if you keep up your chores”, you cannot have your trust violated when you are the one that didn’t do the chores and lost the phone.

    We don't know whether such an agreement was made.

    And the agreement is you get a privilege if you keep up your end of the deal.

    You think communication with the outside world is a privilege? I think it is a necessity.

    If anything, the parent is showing that they were being honest and not lying to you, because they’re doing exactly what they said they would.

    Did you forget the specific scenario we are talking about?

    Regardless of what I think, the law typically does permit parents to limit access to cars, computers, phones, and more. But in the case of the post we're responding to, the phone was taken without her knowledge or consent, causing needless distress.

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  • [+] -6 points 3 days ago (1 child)

    Not having your fucking phone is not distress.

    This is why nobody takes you people seriously.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 days ago

    Not having your fucking phone is not distress.

    You are such a selective reader, it comes across as dishonest. Look at the post:

    Now she's freaking out because she can't find her phone...

    She could have been having an important conversation. She could be afraid that she's lost it completely and will be punished for that.

    This is why nobody takes you people seriously.

    Who is "you people" here? Abuse survivors? And you don't take us seriously because you're too self-centered to even acknowledge abuse, let alone oppose it?

    I'm sorry you were mistreated. Break the cycle.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 days ago (1 child)

    You don’t own the shit as a kid. It isn’t yours, therefore cannot be stolen. It’s a privilege you get based on you meeting certain conditions.

    Oops, looks like someone got their sense of legality mixed up with their sense of decency

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  • [–] -5 points 3 days ago

    No, my sense of morality is to raise independent adults that can’t take care of themselves without crying about basic life tasks. Unlike you fucking losers.

    I’m sure you idiots would cry abuse about me putting my kids PlayStation in my closet though because they didn’t do what they were told to.

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