I like espressos (especially mochas) but they take a bit of work to prepare a single cup. With drip brew, I can do very little and get unhealthy amounts of caffeination into my corpse. Also, I pour ungodly amounts of creamer into my coffee. That Mason jar is quite literally half coffee half creamer.
Since we're doing abominations:
Look at you with your recognizable brand name! I prefer to spend my money on the beans, so I order my beans from Groundwork. Here's my cheapo, super simple machine.
https://coffeemakers.us.com/product/dayum-white-12-cup-drip-coffee-maker/
No black plastic, no timers, just on/off. Brown paper filters. I made it even simpler by ripping out the little spring, so it can't stop and it can't jam. You're getting better coffee when you wait for the full brew anyway. Dayum, it makes good coffee.
And for the full abomination, a big slosh of Atkins Vanilla Shake as my creamer.