When I get genuinely frustrated and irritated, when I communicate that it's typically still with a smile. Dark humor, if you will. I'm mostly thinking of team-external factors, though.

Within team, it's mainly about one specific colleague's work. I've voiced issues and frustrations, to them, teammates, and HR. Nothing fundamentally helped, though. By now, I try to act and think in damage-control mode. To not waste too much time and effort or mental capacity on their work. Still a waste to go through review iterations you feel are useless and wasteful, that they should have noticed and solved beforehand on their own.

Only once have I used harsh, blunt wording in an email to an admin after prod was down yet again, and there was no upfront or at any point communication regarding that they made some changes. It didn't have a lasting (negative) effect, at least.