Why do all phone model names suck? They're all just useless word salad.

The eyeFone Titanium Ultra Mega Super-duper Max Pro XL 27 Hotdog and Hamburger Fold Mini Edition (with someone's name etched at 8pt font, and in their favorite color for only $6,000 more). Battery and charger not in included.

Just use [company] Phone [release/year]. That's it. And have a decent company name, too; sitting on the keyboard and going with whatever comes out isn't good enough.