I think what's happening is everyone is operating entirely for their own self interest, and after awhile those interests start syncing up. So there's no conscious conspiracy, but people are working together towards a common goal.

It would be more comforting if it were a conscious conspiracy, at least then there would be a goal set by conscious people. But I don't think there is actually anyone at the wheel just all of the parts of a machine working together while we drive off a cliff.

Social media is definitely used to control people and yeah making people hate is the way they're controlling people. But it's a mess of foreign interests and moneyed interests. Foreign interests don't want societal cohesion in their adversaries to weaken them. Moneyed interests don't want cohesion so we can't get it together enough to tax them and regulate their businesses. So they promote radicalization and demonization of centrists and disgusting politics on both the far right and far left to keep everyone divided.