While I am a body-positive feminist and think everybody should love the body that they have, I think regulating giant boobs would be a mistake. First of all, it would turn women's bodies into a legislative battleground, which I don't think women need more of in our overly-politicized environment. Secondly, there are many horny men who love to masturbate to giant tits, and banning them would drive them into the arms of the right--now is clearly not the time for that. Third, huge knockers create much-needed jobs in the medical industry. Do we really want to take away jobs from doctors and nurses? Fourth, with the declining economy, sex work--whether OnlyFans or direct services--are becoming necessary outlets for many women, are we going to deny them a definite boost to their income? They could also likely apply for handicap plates with these gargantuan breasts, which would save them time getting to their johns from the parking lot. Finally, and most importantly, banning enormous jalopies would just make the left seem more radical, more extreme, and just downright unreasonable, which would hurt other parts of our agenda such as Medicare for All, guaranteed childcare, and subsidizing housing (all of which I also oppose).

Sincerely,
New York Times Editorial Writer

This administration has more chances of making it mandatory than illegal.