Emotions have to be not damaging. When they are, you feel like shit and it reinforces the cycle of you feeling like shit. They are "valid" whatever that might mean, but they can absolutely wreck your entire shit up. So we learn to properly process them so that doesn't happen.
Your not recognizing that is actually part of the problem, you reinforce people being total wrecks, under the misguided veil of trying to appear helpful.