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Anger
(thelemmy.club)
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this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2026
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Were they murdered?
Do you have to interact with their murder every day and be 'normal' around them?
No. I can understand how being around these people who didn’t take Covid seriously can reopen the wound. There are slight triggers for me, but most likely nothing compared to what OP is dealing with. Either way, I’m not going to tell people how to feel or even tell them to “get over it.” I can only express my opinion about my own feelings in my own life. I really do hope OP can find peace or a tangible solution.
Even survivor families of murdered people struggle but eventually have to move on and rebuild their lives. Your continuous suffering does not bring them back. Your eventual happiness does not disservice the loss. That's the hardest part of grief and injustice.
Feeling angry at the event is normal, but if it is crippling your ability to take care of yourself or others who depend on you. Then that is what is unhealthy. Holding on to the pain and anger to the point that you don't function properly is actively hurting you further.
I don't see you answering my question, I see you ignoring my point.
I actually do know someone who was murdered, and while I don't have to face their murderer every day, the event changed my life more than any other.
Somewhere else on this thread you'll see a post by me saying "I let things go". It's true - since then I just don't hold on to anger, because I just don't see the point. If I stayed angry at the person who murdered my friend, then that person would be the one in charge of my life. They would be the one controlling me, the one for whom I was living my life.
And that applies to everything else. If something annoys me then maybe I think about it for a few minutes, maybe an hour, but then - it's gone. Because if I give more thought than that - if I let it fester, then I give it power over me. Which is just...... not how I want to live my life.
I'm not the one you asked the question to, just commenting on the general discussion. But let's play at that. Yes, I have murdered family members. Yes, I'm angry. But my anger won't stop me from living my life. It's very important to remember that there are things within our control, and things outside our control. The attitude we assume towards the hardships of life is one of the things under our control. We can't control how we feel, but we can decide to not let our tragedies dictate our lives. The emotions after tragedies and injustices can be fuel to lead us into meaningful actions. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. The fear people see on others who are consumed by their emotions is not from some need to take a moral high ground. It is fear that we will lose them as well, to grief and depressive spirals.