Holy shit 🤣

My son Jake, who’s 25, eats mayo. He’s a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He’s a good son. I also have a daughter. She was a women’s and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise.

I'll join your friend. This is allso my favorite article now.

Lmao i really loved this part

They’re also shunning their parents’ preferred restaurants — Applebee’s, Ruby Tuesday, TGI Fridays — to seek out more authentic fare. Old-school eateries, in turn, are diversifying in their search for new customers. Just this year, Red Lobster rolled out a waffles-and-lobster option, and Red Robin launched a vegan burger. You don’t put mayo on a vegan burger.

Other favorites are

I’m not part of the elderly mayo masses; I’m turkey and Swiss on ciabatta with tzatziki, chipotle spread and a little basil pesto. That’s who I am, dammit. My sandwich, my self.

This is bullshit. This attitude comes to you from young people who willingly slurp down eight kazillion kinds of yogurt, not to mention raw fish and pork belly and, yo, detergent pods, so don’t talk to me about mayonnaise.

I thought young people today were supposed to be all about inclusion — about kindness and compassion and making other people feel welcome. So how about you include a little mayo in your picnic fare?

Just because something is old and white doesn’t mean it’s obsolete. Look at Shakespeare. Look at me.

That was hilarious.

Do other condiments have pale imitators like Miracle Whip and Just Mayo and Vegenaise? I don’t think so!

Author's never stepped foot into an Asian grocery, and it shows.

That said, I feel reasonably certain it's meant to be tongue in cheek humour.