this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026

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Being a woman (thelemmy.club)

submitted 2 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works

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[–] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (26 children)

IMO, being a man is more like: "I can't get pregnant. nice."

"Yeah, but you can get her preg-VASECTOMYYYYYY!!!"

EDIT: wow guys, "to me" I guess you could replace "IMO" with "to me" as in "if I'm going to generalize my view pregnancy or whatever as a man, it's like this"

Idk if that's my opinion or experience. I didn't think that hard about it. It was more about the contrast between how much women have to think about VS how little I needed to think about it.

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[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago (3 children)

This reads like a woman's fantasy of a man.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago (2 children)

IMO, being a man is more like: “I can’t get pregnant. nice.”

Most decent men can recognize when they have natural privilege, like the benefit of not having to grow and birth children with their own bodies.

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[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago* (1 child)

"Decent men", more shame language. Being the one to grow and birth a child is itself, a huge privilege.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 point 2 months ago

They are both privileges in their own way :)

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[+] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net -7 points 2 months ago (21 children)

In your opinion or in your experience?

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago (20 children)

You're right. The real victims here are men. It's so difficult for men to have control over their reproductive rights, to have access to contraception, being slut-shamed for getting pregnant out of wedlock, murdered at higher rates by their domestic partners when they're pregnant, having to go through birth and the risks associated with that, and then have to fear the higher risk of rape while they're in the hospital recovering from birth.

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[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works [M] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This seems like light trolling, but you're on the fence. Everyone here is trying to discuss things from my perspective. I understand your frustration, but try and keep it less sarcastic. This is a warning.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

Fair enough and I'll heed it. Thanks!

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[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

np, it looks like you guys are figuring out a way to discuss with each other. Its kind of a master class (not sarcasm).

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[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (1 child)

I dont think they were going on like that, just confused by the IMO, IMO.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

I've run into this user before.

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[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago (6 children)

More than one person can be a real victim of something, why do you want to silence male voices?

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Disagreeing with someone is not silencing their voice.

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[–] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works -2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

But the way you disagree, is. But you already know that, don't you?

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's ok, you lemmings can continue to send me DMs telling me all about how women shouldn't participate here and that I'm holding women back.

I'm not going to stop sharing my opinion that not everything needs to revolve around men and their feelings when we're talking about women.

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[+] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 months ago (2 children)

[removed by mod]

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[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works [M] 2 points 2 months ago (1 child)

Overall, you guys are disagreeing with each other in a reaspectful way. It's just calling them a sexist bigot part. Otherwise, carry on.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Thank you!

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[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net -2 points 2 months ago (7 children)

You got all this from my question? Wow.

I was just wandering if that's @riqusimo experience because in my experience and from what I see vasectomy is not an easy fix (pun?) for men. Most of them are still expected to reproduce when time comes. More and more women never want kids but majority still does. Very few men will get a vasectomy before actually forming a family which is after the danger of causing unwanted pregnancy mostly passed. Even older men will be questioned about their motivation and doctors may simply refuse to perform it for younger men that don't have kids. Not to mention that in some countries vasectomy is simply illegal (Poland). On top of that we have decades of laughing at vasectomies in media and equating it with impotence. For some stupid reason many people still think being infertile means you're somehow less manly or something - another reason many men will thing about it twice.

So... not really as simple as riquisimo makes it sound. I wander what's his experience and why it's so different than mine.

But yeah, sorry for offending you with my question...

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

Women are often refused permanent birth control until their husbands sign off on the procedure.

There's space to talk about the issues men face when it comes to reproduction and birth control. Taking over a post talking about women's bodies and pregnancy issues to complain that men have it as difficult as women will come off as insensitive and sealioning to some.

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[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net -3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Taking over a post talking about women’s bodies and pregnancy issues

This is community about twitter, not about women's issues. I know you don't like it but we're still allowed to talk about our experiences here, regardless our gender. No one is "taking over" posts here. We're just talking.

to complain that men have it as difficult as women

No one said this, you're just making stuff up now. Taking about men's issues doesn't invalidate women's issues. I don't know what's the point of silencing men and dismissing their problems. It's not helping anyone.

will come off as insensitive and sealioning to some.

No idea what that is.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 point 2 months ago (2 children)

I said this post, not this community.

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[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net -1 points 2 months ago (1 child)

This post is in this community.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Right and I was talking specifically about your first comment on this post.

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[–] riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

In my late 20's the urologist recommended I wait, as I was still pretty young. Ok, so I waited. 4-5 years later I went back and scheduled the appt, but then my primary care told me I should wait because I still wasn't married (though he had a med student training with him that day and she was supportive of my decision) At that point I really didn't care what he thought, I wanted to go along with it.

Ultimately, I postponed again because of a discussion I had with my partner. Who is the only other person who's say should have any influence on my opinion.

So yeah, there's resistance everywhere. Ultimately I took a little advice but was going to do what I wanted anyway. I don't care if movies make vasectomies look less manly. Movies make it seem like a manly endevour is to get laid. If you're getting a vasectomy it's because you're getting laid. Shaming it is dumb.

So that's my experience for whatever it's worth.

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[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

So yeah, there’s resistance everywhere. Ultimately I took a little advice but was going to do what I wanted anyway. I don’t care if movies make vasectomies look less manly. Movies make it seem like a manly endevour is to get laid. If you’re getting a vasectomy it’s because you’re getting laid. Shaming it is dumb.

Yeah, it's incredibly stupid but the idea is there. Many men will be worried about it...

So as I said, it's not as simple. By the time doctors accept you know what you're doing you are usually old enough to support family. Vasectomy doesn't protect 20 year olds from getting someone pregnant by accident.

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