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Being a woman
(thelemmy.club)
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this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026
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How irresponsible, having a baby when you can’t provide for it and don’t have stable housing. How dare you?
How irresponsible, trying to improve your income and achieve stable housing instead of having a baby. How dare you?
Women are criticized no matter what decisions they make. This is a way that patriarchy reinforces itself.
Edit: relevant essay: https://www.sevanoland.com/uploads/1/1/8/0/118081022/there_is_no_unmarked_woman.pdf
It’s exhausting.
Yup. This is why I can’t tell if I’m trans or if I just want to be unmarked.
This really hits.
Like, ok, my OS didn't ship with gender.exe, that's an aftermarket DLC consisting of 95% cosmetic skins, and I'm busy trying to roll out kernel patches. Sorry about that! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I only run it to avoid social issues and/or because it's the path of least resistance. And even then... I've only ever thought "I am doing A, B, & C, and avoiding X, Y & Z because they expect me to and it's just easier".
I know I don't want to change my gender -- there's not much there to speak of in the first place. I simply want to do what I like. On the other hand, I know that this is "not normal" because most other guys seem way more attached to their gender, like it's an existential threat to them if I cross an imaginary line while existing next to them. And they act compelled to know "what" other people are, as if they'll implode because they won't know how to be around them!
So the best thing for me to do is to get around people who care about other people LARPing at gender just as much as I do.
(To be clear, I have absolutely no problems with anyone else wearing the gender layers of their choice, and wearing them proudly. As long as they're not an asshole. I actually kinda envy this, because for me it's like wearing a parka in a hot car. Changing its color won't do anything, I actually just don't even want it, I want to live my life without carrying around these heavy rulesets for what color my shoes need to be. LMAO, hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
Oh damn I'm the same way, but female. I just figured it was all the body trauma from my body betraying me by bleeding everywhere, forced pelvic exams to get birth control, chronic pelvic pain and compulsory sex.
I just want to do what I want to do, which doesn't involve bleeding out so I can go swimming, being able to enjoy sex without fear of UTI or pregnancy, and just being allowed to exist like before puberty when I felt like a human.
I don't care what pronouns people use for me. I'd transition as an excuse to get rid of these cursed organs. I don't really care how people perceive me.
I think it's a type of agender called cassgender, when you just don't care.
In my case though I don't know if it's because the trauma has made me entirely disconnect from all that and just left me indifferent.
Yeah, I feel similarly. I would very much just like to be seen as a robot/friendly ungendered alien by society. I’m happy wearing super gendered lingerie when I feel it’s called for, but that’s private. I’m also happy wearing a binder at home, but don’t want to wear one in public.
Unfortunately, the least gendered choice is sometimes the most marked. Like, I would have had to answer a question about it every time someone saw a wedding photo of me if I’d worn a suit, so I wore a dress. I didn’t care much, and it was so much easier to just go along with expectations.
From what you described, it sounds like you may be agender, ie don't have a gender. Not that you have to use a label or anything, but if you want to explore it further, it might help too know what to look up ;)
Have you heard of maverique? That might be you. https://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Maverique
I learned something new today! Thank you for linking this!
No prob. I did a bunch of flags for pride month, so I only just learned it, too.
I suspect there's pressure from peer women too. Are there any non-partriarchal societies to check for it?
I don't know of nonpatriarchal societies, but there have always been women who enforce patriarchy. Consider, for example, "tradwife" influencers. Or look at the moms who let their sons get away with murder with a "boys will be boys" while reprimanding their daughters for not being responsible.
The Jewish culture is semi-matriarchal
https://youtu.be/_OczEtjzCQA
Documentary about Jewish women trying to divorce their husbands.
emphasis on the "semi"
there's still a lot of male privilege and overt male control
Do jewish matriarchs demand children from their daughters / daughters-in-law ?
The Internet doesn't give me a definite answer on that matter 😔
They absolutely do
Generally, yes. There is pressure from older generations regardless.