Small towns across America wanted to throw a party for the nation's 250th birthday

Did they, really? I haven't seen much interest in municipal planning or governance in corners of the country that seem to hate their historical residents almost as much as they hate new people, immigrants, and vacationers.

Everything bureaucratic is someone else's problem. Everything fun costs too much money. Everything done in public cuts into the working day or gets in the way of the new pipeline or truck convoy or data center. I'm sure cuts to the federal stipends for the municipal Have Fun budget are a part of this. But I suspect a lot more is the slew of wet-blankets who have clogged up the lower rungs of government with the express purpose of transferring as much money out of the public coffer and into some private asshole's back pocket.

The idea that we should have public parties has been going out the door right along with our love of public parks and schools and non-cop public jobs. Parties are for the rich people who can afford tickets to the next FIFA match or the President's birthday Fight Night or a flight to Epstein Island. You don't just get to roll out of your hovel and have a good time on the public dime.