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Your brain was never designed for this much bad news (www.sciencedaily.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [M, B] to c/hackernews@lemmy.bestiver.se
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[–] 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I tried doing that. The problem was that being in contact with these groups or people massively increased the amount of bad news I came into contact with. I really tried, but I just couldn't handle it and had to retreat again.

I seriously don't know how I can help consistently without breaking down. I'm trying sometime but then I just have to shut down again because I feel so utterly terrible.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    My comment was a mix of general advice and personal experience. For me, my brain doesn't let me look away, or at least trying to "check out" doesn't help.

    I'd say the general point is about not isolating yourself. Whether you're staying on top of news or not. The groups or social networks you find don't have to be directly helping other people that come from that "bad news". They can just be about helping yourself. Whether that's a mutual aid group or even just a group of people that go hiking together.

    We're all at our own stage of life. Maybe that means you do gotta "check out" for some time to recover. But, that should only ever be a "step" in your personal journey. It should never be the destination. Isolating oneself is never a place to see as the solution.

    It doesn't have to be "what you're about" either. It can be once a week, once a month, etc.

    Also, you CAN break down. When you do, if you're in the right group for you, those people will understand. They will feel exactly as you do. You will be met with empathy not judgement.

    I know, because I feel that same way. When you've been holding in sadness for so long, that even thinking about the smallest amount of empathy from someone else makes you lose it. That's ok. It's ok to show others how hard it is. We're all just trying to hold it in because we feel alone. We aren't.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago* (1 child)

    I just don't know how to find that right group. I've been going out for so many years, trying again and again and never managed to. There's always like 1 (or whatever small fraction) person out of the whole group I get along with and the rest are varying amounts of shitty.

    But thank you for your words and trying :)

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago

    Can we both end our relationships and be together instead? This really speaks to my soul.

    I've had so many partners look away permanently. They make me turn off ad-free news and put on shitty radio with ads full of propaganda.

    I try to talk about society issues, and they won't let me. They prefer to scroll feel-good Instagram propaganda bullshit.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (1 child)

    It sounds like the group you were working with was ineffective tbh. I don't know who you were worrying with, but it's not going to protests that do it, it's working with a group like some DSA chapters that actually recognize the material conditions and use historical materialism to combat them.

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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago (1 child)

    You're depleted and need time to recover before you try helping again. This is a perfect case of "secure your own mask before assisting others".

    Go be with friends. Touch some grass. Do some art. Go visit a garden or plant something.

    If you feel up to it, look into volunteering we local food banks or animal shelters.

    On a larger scale, build a digital lifeboat and de-google/apple/fb. Form privacy cooperatives with your family and friends (whoever is the techiest runs a server for the cooperative and you all share a private cloud). This can act as a filter and a support group if managed well.

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