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Social Media was a mistake (thelemmy.club)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 12 points 4 months ago (3 children)

People here don't know prudence and decorum, probably because they don't have normal relationships with their families or even people in general. And it's not social media, it's the people themselves. I was a (very horny) child when Facebook came out and even I wasn't doing all of that. 🤷

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    To know whether any act of prudence or decorum is a feather in one’s cap is first to answer to what end and on whose behalf.

    Examples:

    Both are often invoked in the context of potential loss to those who have the most to lose.

    Self preservation is prudent. Prudence avoids loss of face …of social standing …of strategic advantage, and so forth.

    Decorum avoids offending traditional sensibilities …protects what is sacred …retains political capital …maintains institutional legitimacy.

    So both tend to be elevated as lofty virtues by those with power and authority to lose.

    Anyway I used to think similarly. What disabused me of my regard for such ideals was living among those who prudence and decorum never served.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I agree with you definitions and reasoning, I disagree that prudence and decorum don't serve in some circles.

    Prudence and decorum just change to fit the context of the circle. For those who have little to lose but their own life, prudence may take the form of kindness and charity. Decorum is just upholding a tradition within a circle, and traditions form at every level of society to keep what works moving forward.

    I would argue that prudence and decorum are good tools to have no matter what circle you move in, you just have to adapt the tools for the job :/

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

    Agreed, and these might be expressions of kindness, respect, and other genuine virtues.

    For example, prudence can mean wisdom, care warranted and given, or simply an instance of thoughtful behavior.

    Likewise decorum can refer to respectful behavior, honor deserved and given, even a gesture of good faith participation in what others value simply because you recognize it its important to them, part of them, and you want them to know they’re accepted.

    But just speaking directly, I’m not sure OP was demonstrating a lack of any of the above simply by the mildly lewd joke. Even of her grandmother was scandalized (pretty sure she wasn’t) it’d only be indecorous/unthoughful/unseemly/unkind if that was her intent.

    Given that perspective, and noting (edit: the original commenter’s) authoritative grasp of normal family and interpersonal relationships, I figured (edit: the original commenter was) lamenting that kids these days fail to accommodate the conservative mores of their elders with the level of dedication and precision that we achieved at their age. Forgive my misunderstanding.

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