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[–] 23 points 4 months ago (15 children)
  • [–] 31 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (7 children)

    A situationship is what happens when one or both members (or I guess theoretically more than that) of a relationship completely fail at setting, defining, and maintaining boundaries and/or expectations of that relationship.

    It is a result of a failure to commincate the most basic parts of a relationship, usually by just assuming the other person can read your mind and knows what you want, what is and isn't ok/allowed.

    It can also often happen because one or more members just has no idea what they actually want out of said relationship, or, that 'idea' changes dramatically, often.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    wait, that's what that's it!!! thought it was more complicated.

    Just sit down and codify your relationship expectations and boundaries.

    Bring a printout of a relationship smorgasbord

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    I mean, I am just asserting this definition here.

    I'm not the King of the Dictionary.

    (Although, apparently, Lords Merriam and Webster do seem to agree with me. I did not actually know this existed in 'the dictionary' prior to writing that.)

    Its a slang term, used mainly by Zoomers and younger, and nobody actually seems to be able to consistently, precisely, define it.

    As best I understand, its a relationship that is best defined by at least one person in it being fundamentally confused by what the 'relationship' even is.

    Further attempt to explain why I define it this way

    Back in the last millenium or thereabouts... we'd just call a 'situationship' something like "they're not a good fit for each other" or "x thought it was / wanted it to be serious, y didn't, thought it was totally casual" or "x (and y) doesn't seem to know what they want from y (or eachother)".

    We didn't really have a specific word for it.

    Like, I've dated girls who slept with me on the first date, just started referring to us as boyfriend/girlfriend by date 2.

    I've also dated girls where we did not have sex untill months in, and they literally requested that I ... basically formally propose to them that we were now boyfriend and girlfriend, even though we weren't dating anyone else, and it had been like 3 months... it was very important to her that I essentially formally propose our 'we are officially dating' status.

    Different people all literally play by different rules.

    And you have to 1] actually know what they are for yourself and 2] tell the other person what they are.

    ... It is totally normal to not know what you want out of a relationship, to not know what kind of person you want to be in a ... more than friendship relationship with.

    Its also pretty normal to feel socially pressured to just even have or not have ... any, or some specific kind of a relationship.

    You kinda just have to learn by trial and error, learn both who yourself is as a person, and what other kind of person you are looking for.

    Thats... basically what maturing, growing, as yourself, into yourself, as a player in the game of society... is.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    As a millennial I must admit, Gen Z created a lot of useful words to describe the human experience. we just created "selfie" and fuck else.

    Bedrotting, Situatinships, Ghosting...

    I'm sure a lot of the meme words will vanish, but Gen Z had a significant influence on the language.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago* (3 children)

    https://www.wikihow.com/Millennial-Slang

    Hey don't count us out completely.

    But also, yeah, a lot of them are extremely cringe.

    ... Also, why isn't 'cringe' on this list?

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (2 children)

    Half of them aren't really millennial, we stole those from the Black community millennials.

    I think Cringe/based are also Gen z.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    ... Huh.

    I mean yeah to the first part, but I was using cringe in like, the early 2010s.

    Not based though, I think that came about later?

    IIRC, 'cringe' started as 'cringeworthy', I think it might have originally gotten more widely used in tumblr/deviantart/fanfic/shipping type circles, and then it broke containment in the early 2010s?

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  • [–] 28 points 4 months ago (5 children)

    A relationship started more by the convenience of the situation rather than necessarily due to mutual attraction.

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  • [–] 23 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Isn't that just kind of how relationships (romantic or not) begin though? Not everyone you meet is going to be a good fit long term but sometimes you find yourself being around someone a lot you might as well try to be on good terms with them for the time being.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    that like describes most of my friendships eved ;w;

    honestly i don't even know how to have propper friendship withou being forced to be around those friends by circumstance

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  • [–] 15 points 4 months ago

    Situationships are almost exclusively used for sexual relationships. Usually they're a no-strings-attached type relationship, maybe someone is developing feelings, maybe it's not reciprocated, but you still get together to fuck.

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