You don’t have enough AI-ready GPU cores so Teams is running the local copilot model on the CPU with your most recent outlook emails in order to prepare a dummy to send to the cloud for further analysis

That's a depressingly probable reason even though you meant it as techno-babble. It is actually possible that the machine doesn't have enough NPU power!

isn’t it time to get off Windows?

I'm already using Linux everywhere I can both personally and at work, heck even my work laptop is running Linux. The blocker on my work desktop is that the remote access tool I use multiple times a day doesn't have a functional Linux version.

I could switch my work desktop over to Apple but I've never liked MacOS.