I’m firmly in the camp of neumorphism.

Why not good old 3d controls (or skeuomorphism) like in Winamp classic skin or Windows 3.11 or you get the general idea?

Why even combine fake 3d with flatness?

Also "electronic paper" (as in no 3d look, just lines and geometric figures and fillings, but not what's called flat design - element borders are lines, elements without borders don't exist) - fine. Think, if talking Apple, MacOS 8, but with less pretense.