I mean, the Black Panthers murdered by the state are heroes in my eyes, ya know? That seems like a strange argument. As bleak as it is to mention, I feel I must point out that having only the fear of future violence while others must face violence presently is a privilege. The good thing is that getting involved in organizing is also a privilege, the other side of the coin I guess you could say. Way I think about it, you're gonna live with the fear of state violence already, so the fear from organizing is marginal, possibly negligible.

If that day comes, do you really think that the absence of your name on a roster is going to stop them? Obedience in advance only teaches authority what it can get away with. The capabilities of authority generally are much less far-reaching than what they lead us to believe. Oppression breeds resistance and struggle, whereas the state would have us believe in the fantasy of unilateral control and suppression of dissent.

You owe it to yourself to study revolutionary history beyond just the most shocking events that scare you away from organizing. In the words of the late assata shakur; It is our duty to fight. It is our duty to win. We must love each other and support each other. We have nothing to lose but our chains.

I'm sorry you have experienced that, comrade. I can only say that the goal is such a society where this kind of bullshit will be a thing of the past.