I think it's probably because it's mostly horny deviant guys on here, same with most of the reddit subs but feels moreso on Lemmy. For me I'm not even that extreme compared to the real bdsm community, I like a lot of it but not the most intense stuff. And I do love more sensual experiences too, or just neutral, "let's fuck" sex lmao. But I only come on Lemmy when I'm feelin like a real hoe