People keep shouting printer like they can just do it like that

No one thinks they can "just do it" but they can do it, just like they did for laptops.

Calling a product DOA because of soldered ram is just a braindead take

A braindead take is a company that's founded on repairable and upgradeable computers selling a computer that's none of those things.

Its not just the RAM, the CPU and GPU are also not repairable or upgradeable, and this is in a class of products where everything else is...