Liberals deeply, passionately, fervently need to believe in some kind of cosmic justice for conservatives. But I'm surrounded by them deep down in the bleeding red state of Texas, and I'm sorry to report they're thriving and multiplying.

Yeah, sure, they'll bitch and cry like stuck pigs at the mildest inconvenience. But plenty of them still have fat bank accounts and big price-inflated houses they took the mortgage out on 20 years ago when land was cheap and college degrees with minimal debt and luxurious country club style mega-churches subsidized with public dollars and giant families with chubby little grandkids outfitted in all the latest MAGA apparel.

Like, the idea that you've got these armies of Crying MAGA voters who have sucked shit due to Republican policy is delusional. The army of billionaires showing up to the Trump Inauguration so they can kiss the ring and collect another few trillion in next year's federal spending should let you know exactly how delusional.

Conservatives aren't suffering and liberals would do well to stop pretending a friendly government is incapable of jerking its favored constituents off. Just because the last four liberal Presidents fumbled the bag for their base voters doesn't mean Republicans can't or won't happily deliver.