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This isn’t representative of frauddog at all though? Like maybe I’m misunderstanding something but it sounds like you are saying this is the kind of person frauddog is and that’s obviously untrue. Frauddog joined the military as a teenager, and now as an adult is very aggressively against imperialism and colonialism. It’s not like null is an active troop secretly infiltrating this place. I think null should have had more humility in void’s last interaction on this site, like obviously having been part of the us military is pretty fucking shameful even if you were ignorant at the time, but it’s really bothering me how people have been acting as though null was like, a secret fed who actually loves the us military or some shit. And it’s frustrating to me that this is how null went out, because null had been talking about wanting to delete for a while due to the frequent racism from white users on this site, but since it went down like this if feels like that racism, that continues to harm users here, is being ignored in favor of pointing out a gotcha about a user they didn’t like. Idk, I know my thoughts are disorganized here but hopefully I’m making sense.
to you and @amberSuperMario@lemmygrad.ml and any other em_poc user reading this:
I want to apologize for anything I've said that has given you the impression that I think frauddogg was a secret troop infiltrating the site or harbored reactionary views.
I absolutely do not believe that. I like to lurk the reading club threads sometimes, and null made some deeply moving and thought-provoking comments that I can't imagine were anything but genuine. void made good contributions to the site.
on the surface, our personalities couldn't be more different, but I have been known to get in faces about injustice irl and I'm sure there are people who know irl frauddogg as a sweetie. it takes all kinds, we all contain multitudes, etc. I won't pretend I was a fan of null's tendency to jump to insults in interactions with other local users, but I saw void's popularity and understood that there were social dynamics I was just not comprehending. the popularity of that behavior became a puzzle for me – I wanted to see it the way others were seeing it, especially considering how many people were saying that everyone who didn't get it was a cracker or fragile or part of the problem etc.
I don't want to be part of the problem. I don't want to be one of the white users making the em_poc users uncomfortable, and I worry a lot that my empathy comes off as apologia to you all. I worry in all my interactions, both online and irl, that my confused questions seem obtuse or judgemental because I get that feedback a lot, and idk how to fix it. after 40 years, the best I have come up with is apologizing thoroughly and often and hope it doesn't start to sound insincere. I'm sorry for anything I've said that has hurt you or made you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome.
I mentioned the specific users I did because
the Code of Conduct is pretty clear about how we're supposed to behave, and it reads to me like it's not just about not hurting others but very much also not hurting ourselves. would frauddogg have expected grace from the community about the troop thing if null had been more willing to offer it to others?
I hope so. I would like to think it would have been given to void. I know I'm not the only person who read those book club posts and saw a beautiful person they were glad to have on the site.