I'm not defending anything. Simply pointing out that Lemmy isn't a free service even if it looks that way for some (or many).
I'm not sure who does the heavy lifting btw. It's not easy to decipher whether running an instance or developing the cloud components or the mobile components is easier. Also the funding is a bit wonky at the moment. The core Lemmy development is woefully underfunded compared to some of the large instances. It's likely to get better eventually but so far I've noticed that core development funding barely budged for the last month or two. Instances are vitally dependent on the core project.