Idk why. But I can really relate to you about waking up everyday without any hopes and dreams.

You open to some unsolicited advice? Nbd if not, it’s okay.

That sounds pretty rough and i'm sorry for your struggles..

I hope things get better with time for you. Even if not monetarily or physically, at least mentally. You are a self-aware individual which makes you smarter than many and you seem to work hard, even if to just survive. All you can do is wake up, find something you enjoy in the day, be nice to others, and, most importantly (also v hard for me), be kind to YOURSELF.

Sadly we can't control what others are doing or saying, but you can control the narrative you give yourself. Shut them out if they oppose you for who you are. Keep being yourself. Take the world one day at a time and find inner peace. The rest is fruitless in the end.