I have two main thoughts on this first is that most of the people really into this are just in denial about their sexual submissive tendencies. They want to be dominated in bed and / or bossed around since it turns them on. They don't want to admit this since that would be against what "good girls want" so they decide its easier to adopt this crazy ideology instead. This of course backfires since the only men who are interested in this are abuses assholes. Everyone else would self select out and would rather have their spouse be equal outside the bedroom. So of course they are miserable since only assholes would sign up for this. A feminist man would happily dominate her as an equal. Its about power over vs power with.