Number of incurable health issues I cured in myself: 3
Number of incurable health issues I didn't cure in myself: 1
Number of incurable health issues I didn't cure in myself: 1
So far
Does anyone know where this guy is? I could really use 50k right now
bad news, the money store closed
Holy shit Scott Adams died? Lmao I didn't even know
he died of prostate cancer before Biden did lmao
Prostate cancer too?! How did I miss this wholesome news?
he announced he had it right after biden did, so i and a lot of people here assumed he was making shit up for attention again and basically ignored him, you'd be forgiven for not hearing about it
i completely forgot about it until he died a couple weeks ago, i sure am owned that i was wrong or whatever 
Number of times someone stole more than $50,000 from me: 5-7 times
Skill issue bozo. Also how do you not know the exact number of times $50,000+ went missing? If I ever had that amount of money at once I would definitely notice if it went missing.
His definition of "stole $50,000 from me" is probably some shit like "published a copy of my NFTs on social media."
Right-clicked and saved my NFT
Yeah like does he mean identity theft or fraud or something? Although this is Scott Adams so I could imagine him keeping his money in big sacks with a dollar sign.
Somehow he was dumb enough to rugpull his own DilbertCoin?
Incredibly robbable guy
Yeah, kind of a weird way for him to be communicating his findom fetish.
Number of full days of vacation, no work, I have taken in the past 33 years: 5 or so
I love the idea of him bragging about this when his job is drawing the same cartoon about how much it sucks having a comfortable office job. Him treating Dilbert so seriously is why I think it doesn't work with absurdist dada. Garfield has the same premise- a decades long mantra of the same comic strip that transcends kitsch when someone takes the unserious thing seriously. Jim Davis knew it was a bullshit job and described cranking out a week's worth of jokes in one day, an intentional lack of sincerity that you can subvert in a meta-modernist way. Scott Adams thought it was a real job and saw Dilbert as a reflection of his own intelligence/protestant work ethic/creativity. It's such a sincere self-insert that you can't parody it without it just being a parody of Scott Adams, who's already such a weird guy that it falls flat like a Trump impression. The brilliant Lasagna Cat episodes where it's a 1-4 hour repeat of the same comic strip to try and give it meaning would never be funny with Dilbert.
Number of full days of vacation, no work, I have taken in the past month: 15
Have fun working in hell Scott, I’ll be in my bed for 16 hours a day
I hate it when I have to call my insurance company and tell them someone stole my collection of gold bars for the seventh time
why didn't he just persuade his asshole into remission, is he stupid?
Stop laughing everyone this is a tragedy. When I needed money I'd just steal more than 50,000 from Scott Adams, I did this like 5-7 times. Now that he died I have to get a job.
You've got to help me it's hard in this economy when all you've got is about a quarter of a million dollars and four car stereos.
Apparently he grew up in 1990s Compton
I am proud to report that I have a 75% success rate of curing myself of lethal diseases. Buy my book.
This is like a gta side character who manages to find himself in increasingly dumber situations what the hell
Rest In Piss
sounds like you have been living in a shithole and you hate to admit it because of nationalism has blinded your eye lmao
I wanna do this
Fights: A few
Car radio stolen: 0
Knife assaults: 0
Home burglaries: 0
Garage burglaries: 0
Neighbourhood burglaries: 0
Auto accidents: 2, one of them wrote off my first motorcycle
Money above $500 stolen from me: Once. That one time I learned I am vulnerable to predatory gambling mechanics in videogames.
Number of times disciplined: Oh fucking countless times for sure.
Incurable diseases cured: 0
Health problems in others cured: I dunno maybe a few IBS symptoms improved?
What the hell did he do on his full days of vacation!?
That number of incurable health issues is one too few buddy, better luck next time lmao
I wonder if that robbery number counts or doesn't count the Insta model he married who vanished in a heroic puff of smoke the day after her prenup ran out?
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