A nice smooth gloss is actually difficult to achieve. It requires a lot of fill and sanding on the substrate to make a perfect surface for the gloss coat to go down evenly. Your definitely-not-a-bong will reflect every layer line and look super uneven if you haven't done the work to sand and finish the surface underneath.
Also, I would generally not recommend making something you are going to put in your mouth from a 3D-printer (medical applications aside, which are very different from what's being discussed here). 3D-printed widgets typically aren't food safe, regardless of whether the material itself is generally considered food safe, as the layer lines create crevices that are difficult to clean. If you aren't willing to sand the piece, your resin coat probably won't change that.
Edit: Another point- you said you don't want to buy a respirator for this project, but expect to work with some sort of resin or epoxy coating. That shit off gasses as it cures, you should really wear proper PPE when working with it.