this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
763 points (97.7% liked)

Not The Onion

15937 readers
1358 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Right-wing Christian podcaster caught in homosexual tryst in 3... 2... 1...

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Hey! After I got scanned, I started sucking dick in the airport bathroom too.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

After my scan, my stance got really wide all of a sudden

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In 1999, Craig became sharply critical of U.S. President Bill Clinton for the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Speaking on NBC's Meet The Press, Craig told Tim Russert: "The American people already know that Bill Clinton is a bad boy – a naughty boy. I'm going to speak out for the citizens of my state, who in the majority think that Bill Clinton is probably even a nasty, bad, naughty boy."

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

I can’t imagine feeling comfortable saying something like this, especially on fucking tv

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lol, I saw that movie in the theater back in the day!

"It's raining men, hallelujah...!"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

"Does this shirt make me look gay?"

"How about now?"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

... If you get hit with fast neutrons, does that make you gender neutral or ambigender rofl?

Alpha radiation turns you into a chad?

Beta radiation makes you a soyboy?

fucking goddammit lol.

EDIT: i mean shit, if radiation causes gender/sexual orientation modification, then I guess you could actually construct a 'gaydar'... oh god my brain hurts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

All I know is I'm goonin' on the dudes now in my porn stash...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The Gay Gamma Goongasm, according to ... Christian Nationalist Physics?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Stop.

My glowing weiner can only get so hard.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

After I got scanned, I let everyone on the plane board me early. What a journey!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

They scanned me, so I frisked them

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The Scan that Gay'd Me