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this post was submitted on 04 May 2026
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My dad did this to me once when I was a kid. I was helping bring in the groceries and was carrying as much as I could (which was a lot, but obviously not more than I could handle) and my dad told me it was a "lazy man's load" that pissed me off pretty badly. I was helping dickhead. I can't remember almost anything from my childhood, but I'll never forget that shitty comment.
Y'know that children are notoriously bad at judging things like that, right? Obviously I don't know the guy, but I would have easily said this as a joke at how many things my kid was trying to carry at once even though that ups the odds of dropping and breaking things.
If children are notoriously bad at judging things like that, then it's on the adults around them to recognize that fact and adjust their responses accordingly.
My mom didn't care that her "jokes" upset me, she just told me I had to "learn to laugh at myself." But I didn't have the self esteem to do that, nor the ability to see her point from her adult perspective. So to me, it just sounded like my mom was bullying me and dismissing my concerns the same way kids at school did.
Humans are pretty bad at communication and there are a bunch of different ways a joke like that could have landed and it's all dependent on the people involved.
One person's joke to gently point out that their kid is probably grabbing too much stuff can easily be another person's brusque and dismissive comment about their kid being lazy.
I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt by your mom.
Thank you. It's true, context is important. Some dynamics might allow for a back and forth.
Overall, I just wish more adults would recognize the impacts their words can have on their kids. Once trust is gone, it's hard to rebuild.