[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I am, or at least was, in a similar camp. I never felt dysphoric as a man, but I felt gender envy towards women. How beautiful, strong, and courageous they are. I thought I was satisfied being a man, but the more I tried on skirts in the privacy of my room at 3am during the pandemic or sloppily applied makeup because I just wanted to try it out, the more I realized I had stepped too far over the line and didn't want to go back.

I thought I could inch forward, start HRT but still present masculine. Then I wore a dress to a new year's party with a handful of friends, someone asked if I wanted to be called she/her which broke me. I stepped over the line too far and realized I was too happy to step back.

Not everyone has this experience, and I don't regret my time spent as a man but do look back at old pictures and think, "There's so much that person had yet to discover."

PhilosophyTube on YT said something similar in her video about coming out. Referring to her transition more like a job that isn't bad, provides a lot of comfort and security, but the more you work that job the more it takes a toll. I don't think I entirely relate to her, but she offers a perspective that's also different than "feeling born in the wrong body."

Additionally, I started dating someone back in early college who called me out on being an egg like 7 years before I transitioned. We didn't remain together for reasons I won't get into, but I talked to them recently for the first time in a while and they gloated so hard about that callout.

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It might not be a definitive point as in, "you feel X way therefore you are Y," but it certainly can contribute to a greater point.

I myself am trans and was in my egg from a young age that finally broke when I turned 24. For years before then, I referred to myself as gender fluid while I tried to discover myself. My signs were that I wished I could be reborn as a woman (but didn't think transitioning would satisfy that desire), feeling really uncomfortable any time people complimented my masculine features (wishing those things weren't true), and adoring lesbian relationships to the point of wishing I could be in one.

I'm proud to say I've been transitioning for almost 3 years now, and my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up :3

P.S. if you would like to have someone to talk to about this and share experiences/thoughts outside of a public forum, feel free to send me a DM.

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 41 points 1 month ago

Somewhere in the distance, I think I heard an egg just crack

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

When I started college, I still had somewhat of a picky palette. Would pick a lot off my meals and stick to safer foods. My partner at the time started coercing me to try foods or ingredients I didn't like, for example sliced raw tomato on a deli sandwich. This ended up working very well for many things: tomato, broccoli, cauliflower, pineapple, and a few others. This could've been attributed to me "growing up" or finally being exposed to better preparations than what I had before college, but I like to think she had the largest influence.

The only one that wouldn't work is pickles. Couldn't stand them despite liking cucumbers and vinegar. For all other foods, I'd forcibly eat them until one day I'd form a "craving", somewhat Stockholm syndrome-ing myself. Pickles never worked. At least, not for 9 years from when this venture began. During this past August, while grocery shopping I finally got my craving so I bought a jar and finished it within 2 days.

Next up, maybe red wine or beer.

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 months ago

I used Linksys for a while but went to TP Link to dip my toes into a mesh system. Any recommended alternatives that aren't Unifi? I'm not opposed to Unifi, they just tend to be the most expensive outside of looming at the used marketplace, which is sometimes hard to catch good deals.

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 months ago

I got a domain that I only use for email right now but I'd love to set something like this up. Any recommendations on tutorials?

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 4 points 5 months ago

Can't forgive them for the cash cow they turned Risk of Rain into. Such a perfect game that I sunk hundreds of hours into to get me through the pandemic. They buy the series, release a quarter-baked DLC that simultaneously makes changes to the base game for everyone, spends a year fixing it, then announces another DLC as soon as they fix the problems they created with the 1st one. All while ramping up their merch lineup like the over $100 TTRPG version.

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 months ago

Again, upvoting not for the programming meme but to encourage the spread of She-ra content

If I had a nickel for each time I commented this, I'd have 3. That's all.

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 months ago

Upvoting not for the programming meme but to encourage the spread of She-ra content

[-] matchaotter@lemmy.zip 24 points 6 months ago

Upvoting not for the political meme but to encourage the spread of She-ra content

matchaotter

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