Still doesn't allow background playback though, so it's useless to me

None of which changes the fact that it's more expensive and clunkier, and none of which feels necessary.

The problem is the previous one only has 2G, and the 2G networks will soon be shut down, hence why they're making a 4G version.

Where is that mentioned? I can't find that in the article

This is an extra service they don’t have to offer.

No, they could let you use someone else's service instead, but they've chosen to block that.

you can back it up to your computer as well

According to the article you literally can't

Although based on the comments there, the article may be wrong on that point

This meme didn't let me down

Expect updates to a lot of things in the near future.

And also a lot of things that remain unpatched for years

It's not gonna be better than turning the screen off.

That's not at all the same thing. That requires downscaling some screens, which makes everything blurry and breaks subpixel AA.

No, and not even all keyboards and mice. It will only work for ones which can do PS/2 signaling over the USB port.

And there is OpenSUSE: 10 11 12 13 42 15

Or are GPUs particularly bad at branches.

Yes. GPUs don't have per-core branching, they have dozens of cores running the same instructions. So if some cores should run the if branch and some run the else branch, all cores in the group will execute both branches, and mask out the one they shouldn't have run. I also think they they don't have the advanced branch prediction CPUs have.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_instruction,_multiple_threads