Try not pooping for 3 days. This tricks your body into no longer being constipated
this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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That's what got me constipated in the first place.
Yo, didn't notice it was the same person
This is hilarious
The profile picture is super memorable to me, for some reason.
WHERE'S THE EXPLANATION OF YOUR SIN.
hush
So I'm going to assume the no poop mission was a success.
It sure was. The resulting constipation was hell though.
So are we going to get an explanation on the 3 poopless days?
Sorry but I really can't 🥲
I managed to force the shit out somehow thanks everyone.
I am happy for your achievement. Well done!
I love these posts. But Imma be pissed off if we find out mizu is Gallowboob or some fucker like that from reddit.
mizu is what
So you gave yourself constipation in order to not poop for 3 days... can you tellbus what you were doing now?
I’m so confused on this dudes post history. Intentionally clearing himself out and giving himself constipation but with access to toilets and an air conditioned tent??
This is either the biggest shitpost ever or some kind of evacuation fetish.
Shits crazy.
Prune juice, coffee, and any spicy foods.
Thanks a lot imma try them all at once
You joke, but old school nurses do just that: mix prune juice, coffee, and milk of magnesia. They call this combo "The Bomb" lol: https://drslusher.com/constipation-remedy-or-the-bomb/
I'm more inclined to tell you that while I appreciate your commitment to a natural remedy, Miralax (polyethylene glycol powder) is the most effective remedy in my personal experience as a nurse. For what it's worth.
I'll just say that there's a reason for the old people eating prunes stereotype.
The classic way I know of is a large black coffee and a bran muffin. If you can manage to get stuck in traffic about an hour after you eat, it increases the odds of it working.
I’m utterly convinced at this point this dude is pranking us HARD. 🤣
I take kratom, an herb with opioid properties so I deal with this a lot. Prunes and other dried fruits have sugar alcohols, which work for a lot of people, coffee is ok. I take magnesium and fuller supplements, so try bananas and oatmeal if you wanna do this with just food.
Idk if that's available in my area but I'll try to look for it. Thanks.
Long walks and much water. Also try eating prunes.
This is the way. Oatmeal or anything with high fiber will help as well.
However prunes or are really where it's at.
My wife swears by dried apricots. Make sure you are in a well ventilated, prefeably unpopulated space as you are going to produce some gas that will make your eyes water.
Anything with lots of fiber, especially darker leaves like kale. The less cooked, the better. But a warm enema can also help a lot in a dire situation.
You could try the mathematician's approach and work it out with a pencil!
(but yes, an enema and fibrebare the correct answers
prune juice XD trust me
"It may be used as a dietary supplement to act as a laxative. " /wikipedia
I'm gonna try to find it in the store when I go out. Thanks.
Personally, I've found binge drinking to be the most fun way to clear yourself out.
After that, lots of greasy foods will grease up your insides.
Miralax! Works for my toddler. 😂
Arby's. Makes Taco Bell shits weak mild in comparison.
Raw dragon fruit is like natural laxatives
Beer
Real answer: Saline enema. Laxatives (prune juice), stimulants (coffee), and opioids (kratom) might help in some cases (actually probably not the opioids, those are likely to make it worse), but if your constipation is really severe and you want immediate relief then an enema is the way to go. You can pickup prefilled enema kits at most drug stores.
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Xylitol, one of the common substitutes for sugar in sugar-free lollies has a laxative effect, so you might be able to munch on a pack of sugar-free gummies and shotgun it out your backside.
Whether your toilet will be in a usable state afterwards is another story altogether.
Psyllium husk.
Not the most pleasant thing to mix with water, but god damn that poopy powder is incredible. It should be part of everyone's daily habit, it's so good for you.
Really hot peanuts help, look up your closest Indian grocery store they usually have the nuclear stuff.
Flax seed .
I've heard this one before.
If you're a mathematician, work it out with a pencil.
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